It has been 3 years almost to the month that we moved *back* to Denver. And I was definitely disgruntled from the moment that we landed.
We got to the rental car place in November and all I saw was brown grass. “Fuck” I thought to myself.
But it was too late. We were here.
About a year later my need to get a tattoo for what I thought was for my dad (more on that later) was increasing in intensity. I had been looking around however for the *perfect* fine-line tattoo artist but that seemed to be impossible in the location I was in. And hey, I am an expert Googler, and still no dice.
I had my eyes on one that was in LA but man that seemed like a crazy idea.
Until
One night I got wild hair in my butt and happened to just see if I could get an appointment with the LA artist.
And guess what? I did! With one Caveat - the appointment was in 2 years. But still yay! and also - great I have to talk to my husband about a trip happening in 2 years.
The date engrained in my mind. It was not the best month with the kids’ birthdays at the beginning and the husband’s annual major industry conference to follow - but I was hoping we could somehow make it work. Because like it or not, it was happening.
October 20, 2023 - the date that I Katie Buckman was getting a tattoo.
Over the course of the next two years, I stopped drinking, got off Zoloft, and started actually working through my shit with TBM (THANK YOU LACY!) and became more whole than I possibly ever have been. What move started as a “FUCK” ended up being a blessing in disguise.
As the date got closer, the configuration of the date became more clear.
Would it be a family trip to LA?
A solo trip?
Would it be a girl’s trip? (never had one of those)
And then it began to toggle between a girls or family trip especially as we saw it was going to be my daughter’s school break. But then, I knowly knew that it had to be a girl’s trip. A few friends and I had been on a JOURNEY the last few years and a meeting of the minds in one location needed to be had. And what is a better place?
OK actually lots of other places but this one was already on the books! Plus one of my friends lived there for 10 years - so a homecoming for her in her old turf.
So a girl’s trip it was.
Flights were booked.
Hotels.
Kids were informed.
Husbands hugged and waved too.
And off we went
When we landed, what was there to greet me was FOG! I love fog so this was a lovely surprise.
But what I noticed, is that the longer we were there, the more I felt I could relax and let my guard down. I only had to take care of myself - which after being a mom for 7 years was such an odd feeling at first.
It was okay, I was actually off the hook.
We rode bikes down to the beach, explored the areas, and ate dinner. The next day was the day I had been waiting for for 2 years.
October 20, 2023 - the date that I Katie Buckman was getting a tattoo.
I woke up that day and said a few times, “Today is the day!”
or
“In a few hours, the wait will be over!”
My girlfriend could tell I was a bit anxious. It was my first (last?) one. And I was tired of waiting now that it was right there.
We walked around Venice (did I tell you about my affinity for Arnold Schwarzenegger and my past in Bodybuilding? Eh, another time then). And waiting for my other girlfriend to arrive.
But once she got there, 5 pm came quickly.
We went back to the hotel and got dressed up.
(if there isn’t a photo, did it actually happen?!)
And then off we went! Once we were all together, my nerves began to soften.
(rollin with my homies vibes)
And I have to say, after not meeting this person until now, he was just who I thought he was. Calm, curious, and interesting.
We got right to work.
(flower doodles of his on the window)
(how’s this?)
Let’s GO!
And I have to say, I sat there in this moment getting a tattoo and smiled knowing I was right where I was supposed to be. My Intuition on why he was the person that was supposed to give me this gift was right.
And the tattoo? It wasn’t about my dad so much after all. The heart yes, but the Iris is a reminder that I am always whole. I am home within myself and I wasn’t lost all along.
And If you like a little WOO with your pilgrimage, stay tuned for my next post with some of the signs that I was in the right place.
Its a doozy!
xoxo
Katie
Gorgeous tattoo!